(P)Roses from the Pandemic 05: All the times I've been assaulted

1994

Laney College Flea Market, Time Stamp: 1100

Cheaper Nintendo?

2 and Ray’s eyes lit up

Mom lets go of my hand

Dad helps them pick out a game

Why am I here?

1 Step, then 2 Step with my light up shoes

She grabs my hands “Churros?”, she asked

I gambled and said “Churros and snow cones!”

Churro on one hand, snow cone on the other

She carried me

My family seem to be out of sight

 

2005

Park Ave and MacArthur, Time Stamp: 1500

First year of AP classes

Mom sick

Dad work

Siblings? Help? No

Suppress your emotions and suck It up

You can only rely on yourself

NL is taking longer

Bestie and I were singing Say Ok

Gun shots to the glass door on the bus stop

Heart sinks

I throw up

 

2014

Civic Center, Time Stamp: 2000

Dress skirt, sneakers and a backpack

Compliance jargon, red-line edits, don’t go to law school

This is normal right?

22 selling my soul to capitalism?

I-Phone 5, cracked screen, cuts on my fingers not from hating myself

Guns out when suns not out

Here, take it

Shoves me, steps on my glasses

 

2014

Civic Center Pt.2, Time Stamp: 2000

New day, same faces

New heels, same feels

No lunch, no dinner

Did I witness an office romance in the corner office?

Heads down

Shinny Samsung S6, 2021 Phuong, why did I ever switch?

Guns out when suns not out

Plastic nub brushes my lips

“Shoot me”, I said.

Thinking, if I die today, I am okay with it

His hands start to shake, tremble

Confidence starts to dip

“Shoot me”, I said again.

Blank stares, I didn’t blink, the fog of devil creeps in

Light switch, click

I threw the phone to the brick ground

Shoved my Michael Kors stiletto into the screen

I don’t deserve nice things

2 New things ruined in less than a minute

Psycho, he called out and ran

I’ve been called worst by better people

 

2016

Home, Time Stamp: 2000

Pulling up in my drive-way

Spotted him a block away

Older, Asian, with a cane, a backpack, slow pace

I hope he is okay

No! Stop!

Stop that right now, not everyone is kind

Parked, rushed to my door step

How did he walk so fast?

Locked doors

I hear foot steps

My door knob turns

Knocks

Shakes my door

He shouted, “Open this door!”

“I need to ask you a question”

Turn off all my lights, taser on my right, switchblade on my left

Places backpack down, sits on my porch

Cops come, tell him to evacuate, this is private property

He said, “She owes me an answer”

He leaves

Cops make a report

I sit in two puddles

Sweat from yoga and tears from anger

I trust no one

 

2016

___ Night-Club Time Stamp: 2200

I’ve been lifting

Red dress

Who goes out like this anymore

Don’t be fooled by my eyes

I’m scanning exit signs

In case of a fire

A rapist

A serial killer

Grabs butt

Instant headlock

He crawls on the floor

I said, “If I twist one more time, you can die”

Steven said let him go

Security asks if I want his job

I cried on the drive back to Oakland

 

2018

40th and San Pablo Time Stamp: 700

72 and sunny

I am gonna wear a skirt today

Beyonce, B-Day Deluxe

72R, 72M, 72 all leads to work

All this empty space, little wins

Next stop, older man sits by me

Peeks over to my phone

Spots the Queen Bey

“Is that you? You look hot!”

Places his hand on my left knee

“I ride a motorcycle”

“You like motorcycles?”

I responded, “Then why are you on the bus?”

Hands shriveled, shrinked

Ego shrinked

Other things shrinked too

 

2019

Gaylords Time Stamp: 1900

Running an index and if formula on 20 different csvs

3 Men, 1 guards the door, other bathroom, and one spots me

Guns out when suns not out

Shoves holster down my throat

Heavy steel

Bullets lined up

Grabs my laptop and run

I guess Mastercard isn’t geting their settlement report tonight

I drive back home

3 reports

The Po, The Woe, The Bro

Po says “Did you fight back? Otherwise I can’t make a report cus no one was hurt”

Woe says “We’ve locked the laptop”

Ray calls “Am I late?”