Thriving 30, Volume 12: What happens when you get laid off?

Disclaimer, I can’t believe I actually have the guts to write about this. First brain cancer, second this. Phuong, keep shit to yourself. However, I have come to terms regarding this matter, and I think it is quite brave for me to share to you the speed bumps in my life. Life happens, be sad and then get yourself up and do something about it.

So… as the end of the year approaches and businesses aren’t doing well. What happens? Budgets are being reduced, job security is at risk. About 2 weeks ago,  I got laid off from a company that I’ve been with for more than 4.5 years. For a start-up, this is a long time. It felt like I’ve been there for a decade.  I started with the company when I was 23. Not knowing where this data analyst position will take me, and yet here I am 4 years later managing the financial product in transactions.  I actually have no background in finance, and I was quite shock my boss took a chance on me.

The writings were pretty clear on the wall that this day was coming sooner or later. Our numbers weren’t looking good, my colleagues were leaving from left to right, and all of our resources were spiraling down. The day of my lay-off, I was in early because I was leading a payment demo with our team in the East-Coast. As soon as “the email” popped up,  tears were welling up and I couldn’t finish my meeting.  I excused myself and walked into my colleague’s office and started sobbing. Everyone who received the email head’s popped up and from what I remembered it was a lot of older folks who have been with the company for more than 2 years. 

I think in terms of financial circumstances, I will be fine, and I believe I am a smart individual that can find my next calling. However, what made me really emotional was the relationships I’ve had. My team of 2, she was a major part of growing me as a manager. I could always count her to get things done, give her honest opinion, and rely on her for support when our department was swamped. She was there when I had brain surgery, and covered my work while I was recovering. We’ve built this “bond” that I can call her a close friend. I’ve had many transitions through direct management, but I think there was only one person I can refer to as my boss. I really looked up to her and was so thankful that she believed me. She coached me, set ambitious goals, and treated me like a human being. There were many other friendships that I won’t forget. When you spend more than 10 hours a day with these people, they become almost family.  

In terms of hard skills, I’ve learned so much. When a project drops on your lap with few resources and a tight deadline, you learn to hustle.  Never in my life have I poured so much of my ambition and heart into a role. And never have I ever wanted to learn something so bad, I used my weekends to improve technical skills and expose to myself to industry that I wanted to be a leader in.

Somehow at the end, all of this feeling was bittersweet. It felt like a break-up, and I’ve been through a wave of emotions. But I’ve come to terms that this is ok. I am going to spend my holidays with the people I love. And build stronger relationships with past colleagues. I want to share this experience for anyone that is going through something similar, that is having a rough time. This is a blessing in disguise. It is going to fuel me to look for company that is deserving of character, skills and ambition. Thank you to all my friends who’ve reached out to me. It means a lot! A good friend reminded me: “It is time to be a rockstar elsewhere!”