When Friends Become Acquaintances

Alan and I were having a talk the other day, where we were discussing who we still talk or hangout with and the same things come up. As we grow up, there are people that are no longer in our lives, some are by choice and some relationships just grow apart.

Let’s start with the first one, people who do not share the same lifestyle. This is difficult because it is not that you do not get a long or they are negative; you just don’t have a lot in common anymore. When you are working full-time and the other is in school, your schedules and priorities are different. Someone that is working has a strict routine, where someone who is studying is dependent on their class schedule and time management of studying. As hard as it is to admit, it is easier spending time with someone that has the same schedule of either in school or working a 9 to 5. I noticed this when arranging a time to catch-up with a friend becomes difficult. Coffee dates or brunches can often be arranged, but you change each day and relationships grow apart. This is a harsh reality we have to accept. Some friendships stick and some don’t.

And lastly, the kind of people that are toxic and not a positive effect in your life. I myself learned this the hard way because I value relationships that I’ve built, but there are times I’ve noticed I tend to complain about a person more than I should. How do we know if we have this person? They are the people that don’t simply make you happy or a better person. We all have this person, yet we keep them around so no one feels offended. They are not bad people who we should immediately run away from. However, as we grow older into our 20’s and 30’s we realize time is precious and every moment is an opportunity and an investment, and opportunities and investments should be made very wisely.

My patience and tolerance for trivial matters have exponentially plunged over the years and I am no longer interested in what others think of me or unnecessary drama. My time and energy can be used to people that genuinely have my best interest at heart, my ambitions and my pursuit for a better future. This is very important because toxic friends are the deadliest. We need to decide for ourselves which people are valuable and worth the investment and ones that should be removed for good. It is not your responsibility to keep others happy. Your responsibility is your happiness, your dreams, and your life. My mom taught me this at young age, “You need to love and take care of yourself. That’s only person who will have your back after I die. No one else. So love yourself.” So let go of friends, acquaintances and people who are not a positive representation of yourself. Those who stick around are the only ones that matter.